“No rush, no fuss, no bother,” said a certain Pooh bear, and though he wasn’t the sharpest tool in the tool shed, Winnie-the-Pooh just might be on to something.
When someone tells you to don’t rush, what does it mean? It could mean to Think! Think! Think! like the Pooh bear when he’s sitting on his log, trying to figure out a problem. It could also mean to slow down — to stop and smell the roses, so to speak. You can apply Pooh’s philosophy to just about everything in life, from doing a puzzle, to getting a new car, to starting a relationship — and yes, even to having sex. If you’re rushing to have sex, either because someone’s pressuring you (your boyfriend or girlfriend, your friends, your clique), or because you’re pressuring yourself , then something’s wrong here. Slow down! Give yourself time to Think! Think! Think! it through.
Let me make this clear: SEX IS NOT SCARY. Important parts of you won’t fall off when you have sex. A dragon doesn’t lurk “down there.” Sex can actually be GREAT.
But sex isn’t a game, even if it is “fun.” And it’s definitely not the answer to your problems either. Sex won’t “fix” your relationship if it’s falling apart; sex won’t help your self-esteem either. It’s not the remedy to loneliness. One night stands and flings might seem exciting in Hollywood but in reality they can lead to heartbreak, depression, and a sense of loss and anxiety.
Sex can be great, but the consequences are a completely different story. It’s not sex, but STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) that will give you spots on your parts. And a baby’s not technically a dragon, but a baby is a very real, very potential consequence of sex.
So before you have sex, think it through! Remind yourself that sex isn’t required to show how much you love someone. There are countless of ways to show how much you care, from hugs to kisses, to gifts and simple phrases like thank you and I love you and We should watch that movie you always wanted to see. Sex isn’t a game because your feelings aren’t meant to be toyed with; your body is yours and should never be used for someone or something else.
Lastly, sex should be something that’s enjoyed, not something you were pressured into because someone tells you that “everybody’s doing it,” “you’re too scared,” or the traditional excuse of “you don’t love me enough!” If they don’t respect your decision to not have sex, or if they refuse to “love” you because you aren’t giving them sex, then they truly don’t love you, respect you, or deserve you.
So don’t rush the sex!! If you don’t rush into sex then you won’t have to fuss about whether pregnancy tests will be positive, or if you’ll get weird spots “down there.” You won’t have to bother with the bad taste lingering in your mouth because this time wasn’t the right time for you.